When a Viking Goat Crosses a Moat
Benjamin R. Thomas Dustin Jackson
36 pages. Color Illustrations
Dear Medieval towns,
Has calamity gotten stale? Dragons not draggin' you down as much? Peasant uprisings lacking yeast? Take heart, oh ye who yearn to keep the Dark Ages darker than a ren-fair participant's basement bedroom. A Viking goat is taking aim-not only at your castle but your fall and winter wardrobes. The coats in particular.
Coats? Yes, coats! A Viking goat craves them in all sizes and flavors, even those scary black leather ones with the metal studs. Much like his famous counterpart, Honeybadger the Hun, (foul language) this Viking goat don't care!
How far will a Viking goat's belly stretch? According to this highly scientific book- to a point where it becomes an orb with legs that float around on it like twigs lodged in a giant ball of gelatin. However, a Viking goat can be useful at this stage. When rolled into a moat, it can serve as a trusty replacement bridge for one incinerated by a dragon.
You will likely be confused upon first seeing the Viking goat. "Should I flee or cuddle it?" you might ask yourself. Either way, you are sure to agree- Medieval devastation and civil engineering projects have never been so adorable- even if it means surrendering your letter jacket and freezing to death.